Kalinka

I have a neighbor that’s learning to play the trumpet, and through the thin walls of Amsterdam apartments I hear everything.

Right now he’s working on the Russian folk song Kalinka, which he plays over and over again.

All things considered, a Russian folk song is really one of the last things I want to hear while I’m in my own home.

But this is an interesting moment for the practice — I’m almost sure that he has no ill intention, it’s just one of many easy-to-play songs that he’s practicing at the moment.

Being a victim is often a choice. I could be upset and offended. How dare he play a Russian folk song that I can hear in my apartment while Russia, with the overwhelming support of the Russian people, is killing hundreds of Ukrainians a day. How insensitive!

Nah. I’d rather laugh it off and realize this guy is just learning the trumpet.

On a deeper level, these are just waves and vibrations that cause me literally no harm. Any association, labeling, and irritation is coming from me, not the sounds themselves.

This isn’t to negate real harm, such as intentional verbal or physical abuse, rather it’s worth taking a moment before rushing to play the victim role. Do I need to be a victim here? What if the other person isn’t even intending to hurt me? Can I just laugh this off and get on with life?