Ingratitude

I remember back during the whole kneeling during the national anthem thing that the right-wing word de jure was ungrateful. Only half paying attention to American politics, I thought it was weird but never really put it together.

Doing a simple internet search, I found a nice explainer: If You Can’t Say Unqualified, Say Ungrateful. It’s not long and a few quotes won’t do it justice anyway. The thrust of it is that if someone outside of the in-power group is successful, that success has to be at the behest and benevolence of the in-power group—according to the logic of the in-power group, of course. And thus a successful outsider to the in-power group must live in constant acknowledgement of a sort of debt and fealty to the in-power group. To do otherwise is to be ungrateful, or to remove the dog whistle: a threat to the current power hierarchy because that person is living proof of its wrongness.

I specifically avoided using “white” and “black” in my summary, because I think this dynamic applies beyond racism in America. I think this explains that current obsession with “saying thanks” and claiming someone is ungrateful even after one has, in fact, said thanks. It’s not about the literal word thanks or even actual gratitude. It’s about acknowledging the asymmetrical power dynamic and acquiescing to your own servitude.

I’m not a fan of banned word lists and canceling someone that tweeted the word ungrateful 20 years ago. That’s a distraction. What’s relevant now is be on the lookout for these sorts of dog whistles and try to dig into what they really mean. More importantly, don’t use them yourself and if you hear one, follow up—well, what do you mean by ungrateful, could you give some specific examples? Just don’t expect a coherent response.